A Shy Man's Tale. Viewpoints: 8. B. Family
A Shy Man's Tale. Viewpoints: 8. B. Family
"Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted." - Paul Pearshall
Growing up I spent most of my time with my brothers. My mother was always available. My father was often gone for the whole week while working, but he made every effort to make sure he was home every weekend to spend with his family. He often made pancakes for everyone on Saturday mornings. My brothers and I were supportive of each other. (When we did have disagreements, they were often settled with short fights, purposely taken out of the house and well away from our parents.) It was a comforting, safe place to be, within that family. All three brothers were (and are) protective of our younger sister Karen who has Down's syndrome. I also felt fortunate to know both my maternal and paternal grandparents, and be able to visit them relatively often. My maternal grandparents lived with us for a while in the Cincinnati area. Later, after my maternal grandfather died, my maternal grandmother lived with us for a few years in California. I have cousins in Wisconsin, Ohio, Minnesota, and Montana. We were all in the midwest at one time, and saw much more of each other than we do these days. Nowadays we are spread across the nation.
My brothers and I don't talk too much to each other (my younger brother and I often exchange e-mails), but we all would drop anything to come to the aid of one of us or our sister or mother in a crisis. I wouldn't say we were extremely close, but we understand each other well.
My immediate family of my wife, Valerie, and my two daughters are quite close. Valerie has stuck by me through thick and thin, and I've leaned on her heavily during our 27 years of marriage. Our daughters can be helpful. At other times they are infuriating. I sometimes think that the solution that my brothers and I had for solving our differences would be preferable to their shouted arguments. (There is a lot of truth to Bill Cosby's statement that fathers don't care about fair, all they want is quiet.) But we all do pull together. The only family we have living near us is my father-in-law, John, who moved to the same town to be near his only surviving immediate family, Valerie. His wife died of cancer, and his son of severe arteriosclerosis (in his early forties). John and all of our family get along well. All of other relatives on both sides are more than 1300 miles from where we live. I wish they were closer so we could see them more often.
My immediate family is very, very important to me. I will do anything I need to to support them. If I didn't have my job at the University, I'd flip burgers, dig ditches , whatever job and how many jobs were needed to support them. Fortunately, I do have my job here at the University, doing something that I love. I don't love the job more than my family, though.
You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu
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